Eat Pray Love: On Soul Mates

Elizabeth Gilbert writes about her attempt to understand the purpose of her relationship with her ex husband. How is it possible to move on from a person you believe is your soul mate? How can you love again when you think that the person yo are leaving is the only person you are supposed to love?

Whether in love or friendship, we’ve all experienced this loss and this question. I loved the way that Gilbert comes to understand this through a Texas mystic cowboy in India while she is at a center to learn to meditate and pray. He told her this about soul mates:

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life to reveal another layer of yourself to you, then they leave. … David’s purpose was to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it.”

She describes how much she loves him, and how hard it is to let go of the relationship. Texas guy replies, “If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot — a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that door way? God will rush in, and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go.”

It reminds me of one of my favorite songs from this past year, “Let Love In” by the Goo Goo Dolls:

There’s nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in

You’re the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I’m banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in


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